Ultimate Reset, pre-kickoff

After dropping some serious coin on the Ultimate Reset and Shakeology I began to mentally prepare for what was to come...after I shook the ominous sounds of banging drums and visions of thunder and lightning out of my head, I began to think clearly.

I wanted to give myself a primer...okay, I lie. I wanted to give myself the opportunity to enjoy Thanksgiving and my son's 5th birthday without worrying that I was outside the confines of some 'routine.' 

But this is good...jumping right into things, especially things that really change the shape of how you go about your day (every day) doesn't work - you need a window of preparation...which is exactly what I had.

If you're planning on making a change, you need to take the time to really think about what you're doing

I had time to really read through the materials and learn about each step of the Reset. I had time to understand the meal preparations and, subsequently, learn about what modifications I could make that would be amenable to both myself and the program. 

I don't eat meat and I eat very little dairy. This comes as a shock to most people. Why? Because I'm not a twig, I've got some meat (okay, a lot of meat) on my bones. There is this assumption that being a vegetarian or a vegan means you are generally healthy and fit. Well, for the record, there is no dairy in potato chips and Oreos are considered vegan. Does my jiggly stature make sense now?!?! 

Preparation

So back to the preparation bit...I worked out which meals would be best for me for the first week and then I made a shopping list. I scoured the manual that accompanies the Reset package to make sure I wasn't leaving anything out, and then I went to the store. 

This is what my night looked like

Lots of prep work and lots of cooking. I also doubled a dressing recipe and pre-baked 3 sweet potatoes. My fridge is packed.

The night before

So last night, prior to hitting the rack, I set aside the necessary supplements needed for the day. The Reset includes a handy case to carry this stuff along in, it has a couple velcro pill slots also, which I like. I also set up alerts in my phone to correspond with the necessary components of the Reset.

This is it folks...it's about to go live! 

My Ultimate Reset

**Flashback**

"I fondly recall the days where I could slide those size 2 jeans on like they were cut just for me, the button easily snapped closed, and there was even room to spare. Now putting on jeans involves a small team of polymer engineers and at least two crane operators. The laws of physics are firmly tested and subsequently defied each time I manage to pull denim over these thighs. Once I manage to actually get them buttoned, I have to wait at least 15 minutes before attempting to breathe or walk up a flight of stairs. After it all settles (by 'it' I mean all the extra skin, fat, and cellulite that adorns my body), I cover what I can with an oversized sweater and then live in an overly aggressive state of self-consciousness until I am able to get myself back into a sassy pair of sweatpants and hide within the confines of my own home until daylight strikes again."

Present Day

So yea, I wrote that shit over 11 months ago...you know what I've done since then to fix it? Yep, nottafugginthing. In fact, I got fatter. If I strip down right now, I can point out which cellulite dimples are from all the Kit Kats I stole from my sons trick or treat bag or the ice cream that I buy "just for my husband" and secretly pig out on when he leaves for work. I heart shitty food. Strike that, I actually eat great all day...but then the night rolls in. I'm like a werewolf, but more like a pig. And I don't need a full moon to release my inner pig, any moon will do.

I am at the point in my life where I have to tuck my stomach into my pants. 

Really, I just tuck that shit right in.

What now?

In the past I've written about working out (something that I used to do EVERY FRIGGIN DAY!) and I just can't muster up the willpower to do it. I've started and stuck to things for a week or two, then fallen right back. I've managed to lose and gain the same friggin ten pounds all year. But now I need to make a real change. 

The Ultimate Reset

I've read about Beachbody's Ultimate Reset for a while now, never really able to spend the money on it. But it seemed like something that would be worth it, if I could afford it. Over the last year I've developed gnarly acid reflux, like wicked gnarly. I've never had that before, which no doubt means my copious layers of lumpy grossness are to blame...the shit that I continue to shove in my gourd probably isn't helping either. This program is rumored to reduce acidity and contribute to better digestion, something I desperately need. It is also, essentially, 'resets' your system...bringing you back to a healthy place. I clearly need that too. And rumor has it I could lose a couple pounds along the way. Win-friggin-win if you ask me. 

So I caved, I figure the shit that I'm doing isn't doing me any favors, and my health is pretty damn important. I bought the Reset and a sack of vegan Chocolate Shakeology. My kickoff date is December 1st...here's hoping I get back to where I was...or even better.