Does that shit really work?
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| Their World |
Once you tear that piece of paper up and start moving on with your life, do you miraculously forget about all the bullshit the next time you see that person? Does it play out like some slow motion movie scene, you're each running toward one another, arms open, and ready to reconnect?
| My World |
I dunno. If it were to play out like that for me, they'd be running directly toward the heel of my foot (which would preferably connect to their face). But again, that's just me.
Just the thought of a good face kick brings a smile to my face...
What is the deal with being a suck monger anyway?
Really, what the frig is it? Do people just wake up in the morning and decide that they are going to be dealers of suck? Or does sucking run much deeper, perhaps the members of the Suck Guild are they just born that way? This is ground breaking shit right here, this is the choice versus genetics discussion we should be having.
I think where this runs deepest, however, is in the office (or in the field, at the plant, or wherever the hell it is that you work).
I'm sure everyone can identify with having at least one asshole in the office (or maybe to even being the asshole, if you're up to coming to terms with that). I can confidently state that, out of the three permanent personnel in my office, we have a staunch asshole population that sits right around 66%. Basically, the bullshit to sanity ratio is a bit overwhelming.
What I find hysterical though is that I cannot identify who the bigger dillweed is, depending upon the day, the alignment of the planets, and how tight my underwear is, it could go either way. I guess if I had to find the benefit in it all, it's that the asshole Suck Guild keeps me on my toes. The problem with that is, their assholishness never stops surprising me either.
Just when I thought you couldn't be a bigger dick, there you go proving me wrong...
I was actually hung up on by a co-worker today...I repeat, hung up on. I immediately had flashbacks to the 10th grade when Shmessica Shmeikel (name poorly changed to loosely protect the idiot involved) called me to scream about how she was dating my ex now and that I needed to stay away from him, followed by lots of hysterics, then an actual click (you don't get those anymore, damn cell phones). A totally unnecessary situation, seeing as he was my ex for a reason, I was more than happy to oblige. None the less, this was 10th grade, not Grown-up Ville where people with real lives and responsibilities live.
It went down like this, the supreme governing body of my agency aggressively requested some information, the data of which I am not directly involved. So, as a responsible employee, I contacted to person who maintains this data...apparently asking someone to do their job is highly offensive. The call basically ended the same way it did with Jessica, I mean Shmessica, and the aftermath was just as confusing.
While this member of the office Suck Guild fulfills her suck responsibilities with gusto, even this surpassed her normal range of absolute douchery. Ultimately, I had to call the supreme leader back and find an adult way to tell him that the individual who coordinates that data was unable to assist. Oh how I would have loved to have highlighted what had transpired, but alas, this is what being a responsible adult is all about - getting walked all over like a urine soaked NYC subway grate. Ultimately, an important lesson to revisit and teach my kids.
I think, as time goes, I may have to delve a little bit more into the Suck Guild and its members, it sure would make for some solid amusement (at least for me). Until then...
